The Smallest Things
by abharding
Summary: Sometimes it is the smallest things that remind us of our greatest losses.(Malcom's POV) Post TATV. Trip does not appear, but the fic is about him.


The Smallest Things

Ann B Harding

Betaed by PJinNH Any all mistakes are mine though.

_Sometimes it is the smallest things that remind us of our greatest losses. _

Takes place after Archer's speech in These Are the Voyages…

"Archer?" the young Asian woman at the hostess stand asked. "Table for seven?"

An uncomfortable and sudden silence fell over our small group. Not that we had been talking about anything important. It was just something to fill the void. A void we had all been trying to ignore. _Table for seven _We were no longer seven. There were only six of us. The Captain, T'Pol, Travis, Hoshi , Phlox and myself. The seventh was… not here.

The silence seemed to stretch on forever, but it must have only been a few seconds. "No, six." The Captain finally answered, his voice slightly hoarse. It could have been the speech and required chit chat at the reception that followed were finally taking their toll, or it could have been the emotion of the last few days. "There are only six of us." Anyone who didn't know him would not have seen the pain on his face or in his voice at the painful correction.. But after a decade of watching the man, I could see it, Clear as day. It was a sudden and unexpected reminder of our loss.

Hoshi made the reservations at Madame Chang's weeks ago. We had planned as unofficial reward to end a day of official celebrations. A way for us to say our goodbyes in private. Who knew when we see each together again? At the time it had seemed like a good idea seeing as how we had all planned on going our separate ways. Hoshi would soon be returning to teaching in Brazil. Phlox and T'Pol were leaving for extended leaves on Denobula and Vulcan, respectively. Trip had planned on going to his parents then to see his older sister and her family. Travis was going to do some sort of whirlwind tour of Earth – see all the sights, that as a boomer, he's never seen. I was going to England to spend time with my sister and her two young children. So a small, somewhat private dinner at a local restaurant had seemed like a good idea. . But no one had thought to inform the restaurant about the change in the number of people who would be there. To be honest, I don't think anyone wanted to. To do so, to acknowledge the fact, only would have made the loss more real.

I had almost managed to make it through the day without thinking about… it. About him. No, that is a lie, I had thought about him, but I'd managed to find reasons, excuses really, as to why he wasn't with us. During the Captain's speech it had been relatively easy. Even if Trip had….still been with us, he would not have been in the VIP section with Hoshi, Travis and me. If everything had gone according to plan, he would have been with Archer and T'Pol , doing his part to calm Archer down. then would have watched the speech in a box which normally was reserved for the speaker's family.. as he was the closest thing the Captain had to family. Instead, Phlox is with the Captain… a rather poor substitute I should think, and even Phlox would agree. He had when the Captain suggested that Phlox take Trip's place in the waiting room.

Even so, Travis, Hoshi, and I talked about the view from the seats, about what the Captain might say in the speech, and even who had been stupid enough to put the   
Tellarite and Andorian delegations next to each other. Anything and everything we could think of to distract us from what we all had to be thinking, namely what T'Pol and Phlox might be saying to the Captain and more importantly, how that advice would differ than the advice that Trip would have given.

The reception had been more difficult, but as so many people wanted to talk to the famous Lieutenant Malcolm Reed, I was able to make the rounds, talk to dozens of people from various worlds about the most trivial of topics, and force a smile on my face at countless cameras and their flashes. All that made it easier to not think about who was missing. Even so, I kept looking out of the corner of my eye hoping to see a blond man in an Engineering uniform, using is his Southern charm on the attendees. I made up reasons why he wasn't there. I tried to pretend that he was just out of sight. Or he was off to the gents, getting a drink, or there was some other reason for his not being there. It almost became a game. And for the most part, it worked. I was able to fool myself long enough that I could get through the long, miserable day.

But it was that one simple question, which came from a young woman who had no idea of the wound she would open with her simple inquiry which nearly undid me. No, now that I think about it, it wasn't the question. It was the answer. The simple, painful answer. "No, six." The Captain replied. "There are only six of us."


End file.
